So Death is Coming...

"This sombre series of portraits taken of people before and after they had died is a challenging and poignant study. The work by German photographer Walter Schels and his partner Beate Lakotta, who recorded interviews with the subjects in their final days, reveals much about dying - and living." Life Before Death, a photo essay by Walter Schels.

Above is a sample of a moving, disturbing, poignant series of photos that my friend Lucy brought to my attention. I have viewed the entire series on several occasions and am captured by the stories of each of the subjects, for indeed they are our stories. (I encourage you to do the same by clicking here or go to www.guardian.co.uk and search "Life Before Death & Walter Schels.) We live a myth of immortality which, though disturbed by the inconvenient intrusion of death from time to time, we are surprisingly adept at maintaining. This series of photos causes us to pause not with a morbid voyerism but with an unambiguous acknowledgement that we too will pass this way.

I found the wide variety of responses to death in those facing it squarely engaging. Some worldviews show through clearly (reincarnation, resurrection, anihilation, etc.) while others respond solely to the emotive power of the moment be it anger, great sadness, or ambivalence. In my experience with those facing death or walking this shadowed path with a loved one there is an equally wide ranging set of responses. I am often surprised by this as the vast majority of those I serve in these moments are immersed in a Christian worldview, yet thier responses in these moments are anything but the Christian understanding of this event. (I will address this in a later post...)

Very often when I officiate (what an interesting term...from the Latin, to provide divine service) a funeral I remind those gathered that this is a moment for solemn reflection as they too will someday have their name at the head of an obituary column. What then is to be done with the life we are given to live? Moses put his request before God in these words, "Teach us to number our days aright, that we may gain a heart of wisdom." (Psalm 90:12).

So, death is coming. An unavoidable question arises, are you, am I, living in such a manner as to be fully prepared for this approaching moment?

A Note To "Random"

Dear Random,

I noticed that you took your blog down today. I know it wasn't yesterday because that is when I last left a message. I can only conclude that your latest pain filled posting was, and is, a matter of current grief. What is one to say to someone in this situation? I could offer you platitudes like, "Time will make this better," or "This will make sense someday," but I refuse to devalue the depth and reality of your grief. Instead I can only offer you words of hope from my decidedly, and unapologetically, Christ-centered worldview.

God is there. I understand that you may well be shaking your fist at him in rage right now. I assure you that it is not the first time. As George Bernanos said in Diary of a Country Priest, "Shake you fist at Him, spit in His face, scourge Him and finally crucify Him; what does it matter? My daughter, it's already been done to Him." Shout at the heavens honestly ventilating the heavings of your heart and though it may seem there is a deafening silence returned for your troubles, be assured there is One who hears and knows.

God knows grief. "He was despised and rejected by men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief; as one from whom men hide their faces" (Isa. 53:3) At the cross, pain is not eliminated, but it is stared down. If you have difficulty believing that God is truly with us look not to the manger, neither look to the mauseleum, rather look to the cross. It is there that God decisively and with astounding finality says "I am with you and I am for you not against you." He chose to endure the pain. That is something you didn't do but you are discovering, much to your dismay, that pain has been thrust upon you univited. Imagine inviting it. This is exactly what God in Christ has done. He knows grief.

God is with you. Though you may desire Him to be far from you He is, in fact, very near to you. Scripture states, "The LORD is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit." (Psalm 34:18) It is entirely up to you to decide whether to turn toward Him or away from Him. He will not force Himself upon you, even in this your moment of greatest grief. He is far too much a gentleman to force His love upon you. Even so, He patiently and longingly waits to comfort you. "So long as there is pain the Comforter walks beside us." (Calvin Miller)

Random, please know that there is one shepherd who prays for you during these days. Your voice will be missed. I hope to hear it again joined to the chorus of those who believe.

Blessings in your grief.

John

Monday Morning Message - If This Is the Way You Treat Your Friends...

Eugene Peterson relates a story concerning Teresa of Avila in his engaging volume, Eat This Book. As Teresa is traveling the length and breadth of Spain, in her campaign to reform the Carmelite monasteries, she is one day thrown from her ox cart into a muddy stream. Standing, she shakes her fist at God and quips, "God, if this is the way you treat your friends, no wonder you don't have many!

What happens when God doesn't act like the doting grandfather many believe Him to be? What is our response to be when our life is a litany of suffering rather than a listing of successes? The God that is most often trumpeted from televangelists and the God most often looked for by the masses is a God with little resemblance to the God revealed in scripture. The God of scripture is anything but a doting grandfather or tamed trinket to add to our lives. The God of scripture is not to be trifled with but who, nevertheless, invites us to know, love, and trust Him.

Our church family had the privilege of hearing the story of one man who has encountered this fearsome God and discovered that even in tragedy, maybe especially in tragedy, God shows His all-surpassing greatness. Reggie Jones has experienced numerous heartaches and tragedies in his short life yet he exhibits an unwavering trust in the goodness and faithfulness of God. Beginning with the life-altering accident his younger brother had at age 9 and coming to an experience he had as recently as a year ago, Reggie has grappled with God's designs and purposes for his life. It is evident that God is using him to inspire and encourage others to press on.

Reggie's younger brother Wes, at age 9, fell 25 feet from a tree house and broke his neck paralyzing him for life. This happened one month after Reggie's dad left a lucrative career with IBM to enter the ministry full-time. To say he was angry with God would be an understatement. I immediately thought of Teresa of Avila's statement, "God, if this is the way you treat your friends, no wonder you don't have many!"

But this story does not end with a little boy confined to a wheelchair for the rest of his life. God had, and has, other things in mind. 20 odd years have passed since that fateful day in the woods of Covington, Georgia when Wes broke his neck, what was to become of him? Both he and his brother Reggie are in demand for speaking engagements across the country and their marvelous story of what God has done in their lives is being told to thousands. Wes now holds the #1 show on GAC network called Unlimited Outdoors and, with Reggie's guidance in marketing, it has incredible potential to reach even greater heights. You can read Wes' story here.




This story alone would be enough to touch the heart of the most hardened but there is more to be told from Reggie's life. The list includes

• a near death experience for he and two hunting partners while duck hunting,
• continuing health issues as a result of this experience,
  
• a daughter he and his wife were told they would never have,
• business partners turning on him after 7 years of unmatched success (Reggie was Recognized as the Young Business Leader of the Year in 2005).

In all of these things Reggie has chosen to look to God and at every turn God has proven Himself faithful. It's not been an easy journey but Reggie finds joy and hope in following God's plan for his life. Reggie states, "I have endured a great many obstacles in my life. But each obstacle I have overcome. It hasn't been easy, but I learned early on from my family to put God in the center of everything, and he wil see us through. God has always provided me with strength beyond measure; His timing has always been perfect, even when it seemed like we were facing the worst." (Triumph Over Tragedy, Reggie Jones)

Blue Eyes Like Janey's

The Man With No Hope

I was in a convenience store the other day getting my wife's coffee (hers is green, comes in a 20 oz. bottle, and is made by Pepsi) and as I was standing in line to check out I overheard the following conversation between a gentleman in line and the cashier.

"Happy New Year!"

"Happy New Year to you too. Yours has got to be better than mine."

"Why do you say that?" (as she scans the the things he is purchasing)

"I just found out I have cancer."

"I'm so sorry to hear that. What are you going to do?"

"I'll tell you what I'm going to do, I'm gonna' party my ass off." (pays for his items and walks out the door)

I groaned inwardly for this gentleman and silently lifted a prayer for him. I deal regularly with sickness and death. Often it is up close and personal as I sit in hospital waiting rooms with family or as I stand by bedsides with hospice nurses hovering nearby. However, most often I am alongside members of my church family; people who have hope. Hearing this man's desperate declaration reminded me that many in this world live without hope.

I wonder about this man who is now "partying his ass off". I wonder how he will deal with his hopelessness when he finds moments of sobriety. I wonder how he will face the reality of his situation in those mornings when he finds himself alone and still facing the specter of death. I wonder what happens when the dull ache of emptiness presses through the haze of alcohol or drugs.

Dallas Willard accurately observes that "loneliness is loose upon the landscape. In haunts the penthouse and the rectory, the executive suite and the millionaire's mansion, as well as the barren apartment, the assembly line, the cocktail bar and the city streets. It is the leprosy of the modern world." (from Hearing God, emphasis added)

"So remember your Creator while you are still young, before those dismal days and years come when you will say, " I don't enjoy life." That is when the light of the sun, the moon, and the stars will grow dim for you, and the rain clouds will never pass away. Then your arms, that have protected you, will tremble, and your legs, now strong, will grow weak. Your teeth will be too few to chew your food, and your eyes too dim to see clearly. Your ears will be deaf to the noise of the street. You will barely be able to hear the mill as is grinds or music as it plays, but even the song of a bird will wake you from sleep. You will be afraid of high places, and walking will be dangerous. You hair will turn white; you will hardly be able to drag yourself along,and all desire will be gone.

We are going to our final resting place, and then there will be mourning in the streets. The silver chain will snap, and the golden lamp will fall and break; the rope at the well will break, and the water jar will be shattered. Our bodies will return to the dust of the earth, and the breath of life will go back to God, who gave it to us. Vanity, vanity, says the preacher, all is vanity.

After all this, there is only one thing to say: Have reverence for God and obey his commands, for this is the whole duty of man."

(Ecclesiastes 12:1-8 and 13 GNB)

Homecoming Joy

One of the great joys of the Christmas season is going home. Many will leave big cities and travel to small hamlets scattered across this great land; some finding their way back to home places that have been in the family for generations. There are a few of us who will find ourselves celebrating the home going of loved ones. I am one such person this season.

Just this morning I stood by the bedside of a sainted lady in our church mere moments after she had taken her last breath. She was 5 days shy of spending 94 years on this earth and had consistently wondered for the last several years why God had left her here so long. Widowed for 60+ years, no children, and little other family remaining she had not outlived she felt quite lonely. However she never felt alone. This dear woman always shared about the nearness of God in her life. I often listened with rapt attention to her accounts of God's nearness longing for that same, irrefutable sense of His presence. Her words to me were, "But you are so busy, and I have nothing to do." I knew then, and I certainly know now, who was the one more blessed.

Several years ago my youngest son accompanied my wife and I to a funeral. He was 4 1/2 and intensely interested in the solemn proceedings of the day. As the graveside "Amen" was said and others were hugging family and sharing some final words of kindness Clayton was insistent that we move to the graveside. I obliged and took him to where the casket was about to be lowered into the ground. He very studiously peered into the hole in the ground for several moments. His curiosity satisfied he took my hand and we began to walk away. After a moment he said, "Dad, I don't think I like heaven." I sank to one knee looking into his intelligent eyes and said, "Oh, son, heaven is not a hole in the ground!" Taking him into my arms I shared with him what a wonderful place heaven is for those who know and love the Lord. It is a moment, with my son, which I cherish.

In the midst of this Christmas celebration there will be those who go home. Some to houses full of laughter and joy. Some to homes prepared for them by the hands of the Maker Himself. "I go to prepare a place for you, if it were not so I would have told you." (John 14:2) Joy shall reign.



For more advent reading check these blogs...

• Brother Maynard
• Lainie Petersen
• Peggy Brown
• Sonja
• Adam Copeland
• John the Shepherd
• Rob Robinson
• Christine Sine
• Lori Bjerkander
• Glenn Jordan
• Julie Clawson
• Cindy Bryan
• Robin Dugall
• Lyn Hallewell
• J. Michael Matkin
• Eric G.
• (Formerly Emerging) Grace
• Matt Stone

Moving Day

Spent Saturday moving my mother-in-law. It was a physically and emotionally draining day for all of us. This was no simple move. It was a family exercise in grieving. You see, my father-in-law passed away in February and we are still processing what life looks like without him in it. Now it looks like a new house. One that doesn't have any memory of Papa.

It was difficult to pack up the last of the things at the river house and to close that door for the last time. The house may have been emptied of its furnishings but it was terribly crowded with memories (and still is). There was a lot of "I remember when..." happening. There were also a lot of quiet moments no one dared interrupt.

Perhaps the most difficult moment of all was when we came across the contents of Papa's night stand. We just couldn't bring ourselves to go through those personal items. Somehow the place and time were just not right. Grief for another day I suppose. Same furniture. Different place. Wrong time.

It was good for the family to be together on this day. We created the first memories for this new place. We pray it will be the first among many good memories. Welcome home Nana.